


Moving On

by dirtylittlegreasemonkey



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3279041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtylittlegreasemonkey/pseuds/dirtylittlegreasemonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two parts. With Robert married to Chrissie, Aaron is forced to moved on - but how easy is it when all he can think of is Robert? And how does Robert cope with the thought of Aaron with other men?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Aaron had been drunk enough not to care if anyone saw the kissing which started as soon as he’d paid the taxi driver and continued until the back door of the pub had been closed behind them. The lights were out, everyone asleep, and it was too dark to tell that the guy wasn’t quite as blond as Aaron wanted him to be. Not as tall either. He had these small, frustratingly delicate hands that swept up Aaron’s arms and stayed stagnant on his shoulders. There wasn’t any pulling or grabbing or dragging off his clothes – Aaron was the one in charge, pushing their mouths together.

This guy – this too stubbled, too short, too shy, too brunette guy – had bought him a drink in Bar West. He’d used some line about cheering Aaron up, giving him something to smile about and all he could think of then was how long it had been since he’d been with someone without any baggage. Just sex. Where he didn’t have to pretend to be interested in small talk or answer polite questions about his life. Just sex. Where he wouldn’t need to smother feelings and emotions that got in the way. Whereas this – this Lee – he could lose himself in for a few hours and never have to think about him ever again.

Aaron drew back from the kiss and found his gaze directed at Lee’s mouth, rather than his face. He’d seemed more handsome in the bar, more exciting. For another minute Aaron leant in and kissed him again, waiting for the guy’s hands to move to his waist or start pushing off his jacket but they stayed put.

“I’ll get us some cans,” Aaron said once the kiss had stopped again. His eyes darted upstairs. “Mine’s the second on the right. I’ll meet you up there.”

Aaron watched him go on up. He’d committed to it now – he couldn’t just turf him out. He could feel a voice itching at the back of his mind. _This’ll be good for you. It’s not a punishment why are you acting like it is?_

He headed through to the kitchen not bothering to put the lights on and took a couple of beers from the fridge. Whether it was for courage or just wasting time, he opened one and stood at the sink, swigging from the can. Aaron could hear the general workings of the pub creaking, like old buildings always do, and the shuffle of Lee moving about upstairs. Then a noise caught him by surprise and his throat flinched, almost choking on the beer when he turned. Even in the dark the figure was unmistakable – his hair lifted and messy from sleeping on the sofa.

“You scared the shit outta me!” Aaron said, regaining his breath. The silvery light from the window cast on Robert as he stepped a little closer, dressed in an old t-shirt and snug boxer shorts.

“Sorry,” he said, murmuring and looking awkward as he leaned back against the table.

Aaron turned back to the sink and took another mouthful of drink trying to block out the silence. He could feel Robert’s eyes on him even as he stood there, both of their brains fireworking with questions inside their skulls and too stubborn to vocalise them.

“Diane didn’t tell you, then? About me kipping on the sofa.”

“I’ve been out,” Aaron said, refusing to face him. He played with the ring pull and looked at the second beer sitting on the side, sweating with condensation. He thought of Lee upstairs in his bed.

“Yeah, so I figured,” Robert said, his words with an edge to them. “Who’s the guy?”

“What? So you were spying on me, were you?” This time Aaron did turn to face him, face flared and scrunched.

“You were panting like a dog on heat out there, it was pretty difficult to ignore.”

Aaron winced at Robert’s retaliation. “It’s none of your business, alright? This is my home and I can bring back whoever I want.”

Robert raised his hands. “Not my problem, mate. If you wanna pick men up off the street then that’s your choice.”

Aaron lunged forward, grabbing Robert by the front of his t-shirt. Even in his anger he could feel the heat of Robert’s sleep-warm skin and the surge of a blood rush. Robert gripped him by the shirt and between them breathy shoves and aggression fizzled out into pushing each other away in that long-shared bitterness.    

“Why’re you here anyway? I thought you’d be at home with your _wife_.” Aaron didn’t mean to put so much emphasis on the word, but the scuffle had brought all those months’ worth of grief to the surface. Having to watch the pair of them swan around the village arm in arm – before he’d married her it was torture, but after – when Aaron had stayed so far away it made his insides ache into numbness – it was a whole other hell.

Robert’s head didn’t drop, but he moved his gaze to the side as if stung by Aaron’s hurt. It was only then, as Robert leant his hands against the table that Aaron noticed his bare ring finger.

“News obviously doesn’t travel as fast as I thought,” he said.

“I’ve been out.”

“Yeah and he’s still waiting for you upstairs.”

 Aaron flinched, his jaw tightening. “I asked you a question - why are you here?”

“Why are you wasting your time with guys like him?” Robert moved closer, gesturing upstairs. His voice was lighter, curious. If Aaron hadn’t known better he’d have said Robert actually cared about him.

“You don’t even know him.”

“Neither do you.”

“I know he’s not got a wife and a whole cosy life to protect.” The remark got the effect Aaron wanted and Robert took a step back, hesitant and his gaze averted.

“You can do better.”

“What, like you, you mean? Do me a favour.” Aaron picked up the second beer and pushed past Robert to head upstairs but Robert blocked his path, keeping him close by grabbing at his waist.

“No one else makes you feel like I can. He can’t.”

Aaron felt the pressure of Robert’s fingertips slipping under his shirt.

“Thanks for the advice. I’ll let you know how you compare afterwards.” He pulled away from Robert’s grip, only to find himself spun back around into Robert’s space.

“Just hear me out, will you?”

Like all the times before it, Aaron felt the impossible pull towards Robert, found themselves staring at each other’s mouths, frustrated and lost in their own angry, pent up breaths.

“Thrown you out, has she?” Aaron asked, aware that he had Robert’s t-shirt bunched in his grip, his hot skin shaking underneath.  “Who did she catch you with? Bird or bloke?”

The muscle in Robert’s cheek flickered. “I was drunk. Lonely.”

Aaron scoffed, head shaking. “You’re pathetic.” He couldn’t prevent the twinge of hurt that came with the knowledge of Robert finding another sap to satisfy him.

“And I didn’t want her,” Robert continued, his hold on Aaron unrelenting. He was determined to carry on his explanation even if Aaron didn’t want to hear it. “Pushed her off. Made my excuses.”

“Honeymoon period over already, was it?”

“I went for a drive. Drunk. I’m not proud of it. Left my phone at home. Unlocked, so she could find it. I just…” Robert trailed off and his grip slipped away, easing from Aaron. He touched his forehead as he retraced over the events and Aaron felt as if he were being drip fed them, like clues on a map. “I came here, to the pub. And your mum…your mum. She couldn’t wait to tell me where you were.”

Aaron’s brow lowered. Tonight had been the first night he’d been out looking for sex since before being with Robert. But Aaron knew Chas all too well – she despised Robert, even more so as one of the few who knew that he’d messed Aaron around – and she’d have been the first one to try and warn him off.

Robert’s face fell as he told the story of Chas delivering the news, he looked off into the room – his face stiffening. “She said you’d met someone. Said she’d never seen you happier.”

Aaron’s hand uncurled on Robert’s t-shirt.

“I thought I’d blown it. That you were done with me…” Robert said, hesitating as he continued with a shaky honesty. “I thought I could just go home, pretend nothing had happened. But then I got home and…the phone…I’d given Chrissie enough reason to throw me out. Photos of you…texts…” Robert make eye contact with Aaron cautiously and then looked away again. “She asked me why I had those kinds of photos of you…and I said for blackmail and…”

“I can’t believe you,” Aaron said, his breathless words barely audible in his anger. “Even then you couldn’t be honest with her. And why the hell did you keep the photos?”

“She didn’t believe me, Aaron.”

“Because you’re a liar. And a shit one, at that.”

“So I told her. I told her,” Robert said, fixing his gaze directly at Aaron. He pulled at his shirt so Aaron was forced to face him.

Aaron’s hand came down on Robert’s arm, unsure if it was to stop him or keep him close. He felt like someone had blocked his throat, his tongue drying up and the heavy drum of his heart making him feel dizzy in the dark. He heard the ceiling whine above and the sound of Lee restless in his bedroom.

“What did you tell her?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron could have sworn his heart pumped a half marathon’s beat inside his chest as he waited for Robert’s answer, his tongue cloying against the roof of his mouth. The tap dripped, the fridge whirred – every sound of the pub growing louder and louder as Robert’s silence ticked on. Aaron was ready to give up on it all, throw away that final shred of hope at Robert’s persistent indecision.

“That I’m crazy about you,” Robert said, finally, with a rush to the delivery like it was eating his insides, that he couldn’t carry or deal with its meaning any longer. “I told her I’m crazy about you. Okay?”

Aaron felt Robert’s grip on him loosen. Even in the stunted light he could see the muscle in Robert’s cheek twitch like he was trying to erase what he’d said or fill a gap in their silence. He couldn’t process it. Ahead of him was this guy he’d been trying to shake out of his system for months, a guy wrapped up in baffling contradictions and masks and manipulation that he thought, once, he’d managed to crack. But he hadn’t – he’d realised that guys like Robert don’t hold baggage like he did, he was unsolvable, unbreakable. He had no desire to change. He liked lies and games. And was it any different now? Was all this just another elaborate ploy to win him over, play him for the fool again until he got bored?

And yet, despite all this, his doubts in Robert stuttered. He’d rebuilt him in his mind as this cold and heartless machine knowing that was never the case. He’d have never have fallen in love with him if that were true. It would have made things easier – it would have made getting over him easier – if it were real. But here Robert stood, vulnerable, honest, fresh from sleep and shed from his layers of glossy bravado.

Aaron looked away, eyes closing briefly and his head shaking to try and clear his thoughts. “Robert I…-“ he began, ready to tell him he couldn’t go through it all again, he couldn’t put himself through it.

But in that instant they were knocked out of their intense privacy. The door to the living room opened and Lee stood there, shirt off and looking at the pair of them with a slipping smile, replaced by confusion.

“Aaron…? Are you coming?”

Aaron couldn’t be sure whether when Lee looked at Robert he sensed something, but he tensed anyway, stepping back away from him but stuck between the two men like he was caught in a maze.

“Sorry,” he muttered to Lee – a weak apology for keeping him hanging on. “I was just getting these…” He gestured to the beers that he had abandoned.

Lee nodded slightly but stood firm, clear he wasn’t about to wait upstairs alone any longer. He pushed on the door to open it wider and cocked his head to the side, indicating Aaron to follow. Aaron moved, although he couldn’t be sure in which direction his feet hesitated in until he felt Robert’s hand on his shoulder.

“Aaron. _Please_ ,” he said in that tone reserved for Aaron only. He sounded soft and pained and remorseful all in that one last word.

“Am I missing something?” Lee asked, directing his frustration at Robert. Seeing them stood together now, Aaron felt even less for Lee than he had in the bar. Maybe for a moment he’d been an attractive prospect – a distraction – but compared to Robert, Aaron felt nothing for him.

“No. You’re not, but –“ Aaron’s words were swallowed up by his own frustration. He wanted to escape, needed to run. He felt Robert’s hand slip away, defeated but instead he looked to Lee, flicking his gaze between him and the floor. “Sorry. Can you go? This isn’t gonna happen tonight.”

Lee’s nostrils flared, withdrawing with a harsh expression to cover his embarrassment at being ditched so quickly, as he stood there shirtless. With a last bitter scoff of ‘Fuck you’, Lee disappeared upstairs to collect his stuff and then scarpered without another word, leaving Aaron and Robert with a gulf of tension between them. The back door slammed and in the wake of the judder, Aaron turned to face Robert again, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets.

“So? You’re crazy about me? What’s that meant’a mean?”

Flustered, Robert’s palms opened, caught in a state where his sleep fogged sincerity was clearing and now he had to deal with being honest in the sobriety of being fully awake. “It means exactly that.” He prowled closer, running his hands along the curve of Aaron’s arms until he had his face in his hands, smooth thumbs bristling against his stubble. His head stooped so they were almost level, the mint from Robert’s toothpaste mouth breathing across his lips. “It means I want you.”

“You wanna fuck me,” Aaron said, still loaded with resentment.

Robert sighed, releasing him. “It’s not just that.”

“It used to be. That’s all I was good for, weren’t it?”

“You’re more than that.”

“Am I?”

“Yes! I don’t grovel for anyone, Aaron.”

“Oh, thanks!” His eyes rolled.

“Nothing I say is good enough for you, is it?”

Aaron shrugged but his shoulders were soon shaken again by Robert, gripping onto him and demanding he take his pleas seriously.

“I want _you_. I want to be with _you_. Not Chrissie, not anyone else. You.”

Aaron dared himself to look up and into Robert’s eyes, the unnerving, disarming midnight of them. Why was he so weak for him? He watched as Robert’s face transformed itself from a fixed seriousness, to his skin creasing with lines of a smile. Robert was made to smile, even though he rarely did. It suited him.

He had questions – hundreds of them and some he knew Robert might never answer. But right now he felt the mirrored sway of their bodies, leaning in, drawing closer. However much he’d pushed away and torn up those feelings, Robert was right – there was no one else that made him feel like he did. Aaron rose up, closing the gap between them and pressed his mouth against Robert’s. His whole body ached with longing, that wrenching feeling of having been denied something for so long. Like he knew it was what Aaron wanted the most, Robert’s hands skimmed and settled around Aaron’s waist, pulling him closer and their bodies hot together.

Aaron’s hands flattened against Robert’s chest, crumpling the thin t-shirt under his fingertips and deepened the kiss against Robert’s new tentative submission. Aaron drowned under the intensity of the sounds Robert made – from the back of his throat to the hitches of his breath – he had forgotten how raw Robert’s pleasure was. He clawed at his t-shirt, pulling him towards the sofa and letting their mouths part and reunite with the noisy desperation of months apart. Aaron stripped Robert of his t-shirt and latched his mouth back against him, fingers padding against his nipples.

Robert placed a hand on his chest, coiling his neck away. “I don’t want you to think…”

“I don’t…” Aaron couldn’t shake his head fast enough, pulling off his own clothes.

“Don’t you want to talk?”

“What I want?” Aaron said, laughing with exasperation at Robert’s turn around. His jeans fell to the floor in a clunk and he was amused to see Robert’s behaviour hadn’t progressed that much – his gaze was suddenly preoccupied by the hardness of Aaron’s dick. His eyes snapped up, feigning innocence. “I want you to shut up. And fuck me.”

Robert’s smile obliterated their chance for another full kiss, but he dragged Aaron down on top of him on the sofa, hooking his thumbs into Aaron’s boxers and took them off. It wasn’t the first time they’d been like this – Aaron straddled on top and Robert, like some smug playboy, spread out underneath with hands behind his head – but this time things felt different.

Aaron pressed back and rubbed his hand over and over, across the tight fabric of Robert’s boxers, the material straining with his swelling size.  Robert turned his head, heavy breathing, and sunk his teeth into the flesh of his arm to stop himself being too loud.

“Don’t tell me I’ve gotta go and get a Durex from the bogs,” Robert said playfully, but with his words squeezed through his teeth. He groaned as Aaron peeled down the underwear and freed him.

Aaron shook his head and rummaged on the floor in his jean pockets. Condoms and lube. He hadn’t been messing around when he left that night. He handed them over and turned, kneeling and bent himself over the arm of the couch.

“You better hope Diane doesn’t walk in.”

“Or your mum. I don’t know what’s worse.”

Robert placed light, ticklish kisses at the base of his spine before kneeling up behind him. On the sofa wasn’t their best idea but the bedroom seemed too far.

“Your sister. Probably.” Aaron cocked his head to the side, amused. Robert’s slick fingers teased his entrance.

“It’s not like she hasn’t seen you naked.”

“Really? You want to do this now?”

“No. Not really.”

All of Aaron’s sarcastic comebacks were wiped from his head as the seared heat of Robert’s cock filled him.

“Oh fuck!” His body convulsed, his voice gargling an unbearably needy sound. Robert’s hand pushed down on his shoulder and his thumb circled the skin in time with the rocking thrusts of his hips. Aaron pressed his reddened face against his arm, trying to steal back the breaths that Robert was fucking from him. He could hear in transfixing clarity the frantic rhythm of Robert’s breathing – the abandon in him.  

He’d forgotten just how good Robert was at this, but it didn’t just need to be a memory anymore. It was real. His to have.


End file.
